odds and ends

when I ended
we began
and I thought we would win.
that we would make it past
our pasts, struggling,
but together. I wanted this to be the one thing
I could be proud of. we would stand
against all odds, against our
friends, against ourselves
and we would conquer.
for us. I needed
us. I thought that I could be
happy, just once
and that you
were something worth
believing in and I was
wrong. the distance
between what we
need and what I see
is as far apart
as my right hand
reaching
for your left.

(i hate hearing you say
there's no place
for that now.)

we try to believe
we can change but we are
all liars. I never asked you to change.
you wanted a challenge. I just wanted
you.